I just grew tired of watching all my friends getting married, while I am still single. I was afraid to go to any wedding any more. I just want to be alone, and don’t want to see couples in their sweet marriage, and happily ever after. I wasn’t mean, but I was just so mad at myself whenever someone find their eternal significant other. While I was still alone myself.
I kept on asking myself, what is wrong with me? Why I couldn’t find the girl of my dream? Am I that bad? I just want to find the one; the girl of my dream. Why I can’t get married like all my friends did. I just felt ashamed of myself, and my incapable of falling in love.
I just received another invitation from my friend, who is about getting married on this Saturday. I just make up an excuse before hand. I couldn’t even dare to talk to him in the phone. I just sent an email to notify him that I won’t be able to attend the wedding, because I have to work, and I absolutely can not afford to take another day off from this job of mine. What a convenient excuse. I just don’t want to attend. About a month ago, I just rejected to attend another friend’s wedding too. I felt so shame, and I was so mad at myself for that. Maybe I just trying to avoid those questions about “when it is your turn?” “Why aren’t you get married?”
At the end, I don’t know what I should do.