Canceling The Wedding

Like returning the ring, I hope no one has to deal with this situation, from Offbeat Bride:

Sadly, we have decided to call off the wedding. We sent out the Save The Dates a while ago, and we’re going to each notify our own “sides” of the guest list. I can call my friends, but what do I do to notify the distant relatives and parents’ friends? I know I need to send something soon because the wedding date is only 3 months away. In this state of mind, I can’t think of what to say. Any thoughts?

First: I’m so very sorry. This is one of those situations where simplicity goes a long way — you don’t need to get into details with extended family. A phone call definitely works a bit better than a mailed card, which can get lost in the shuffle.

I mean, it is better than a fake-happy day and then a divorce, but how awful is it to make call after call to relatives expecting to congratulate you, and tell them that the wedding’s off?

Via Offbeat Bride | How to notify guests about a canceled wedding.

Pre-Wedding Checklist

Getting ready for your wedding can be the one of the happiest times of your life, and one of the most stressful! There are so many wonderful things about this time, like your engagement party, finding the dream dress, and looking at the new rock on your finger!

But it’s easy to get overwhelmed with all the things you need to do before the wedding. Are you going with a band or a DJ? Did you call the florist? Does the caterer have the final headcount? Use this Wedding Planning Checklist to make sure you’ve gotten everything done. It’s a really useful list to help you keep on top of all your pre-wedding tasks. You can also use the checklist to help divide up pre-wedding responsibilities.

Secret message to brides: If your mom and future mother-in-law are making you crazy trying to “help” and giving you advice,  assign her a task (preferably something NOT near to your heart) and let her know she is in charge of that area. We recommend envelope-addressing or favor-tying to get an overly helpful mom off your back. Don’t forget to thank her afterwards for all her help in making your big day so smoothly!

Practical Wedding Blogs

I saw this over on 100 Great Wedding Blogs | Nashville Design and Photography Here are the best practical wedding blogs.

Practicality

Follow these blogs for a wedding that’s down to Earth.

9. A Practical Wedding: Meg’s blog focuses on weddings, minus the ridiculousness that often surrounds them.
10. The Unbride: This photographer is getting married, and has set out to create a really unique wedding.
11. A $10,000 Wedding: Follow this bride as she plans a wedding for $10,000 or less.
12. Offbeat Bride: Offbeat Bride offers up profiles of backyard weddings, extreme budgeting, and often, red wedding dresses.

I *love* The UnBride! There’s a lot to be said for Offbeat Bride too, although after reading it for about a year, I feel that a lot of the offbeat brides are very similar, just a different kind of sameness from the poufy-white-dress crowd. What do you say? What practical wedding blogs light up your feedreader?

Via 100 Great Wedding Blogs | Nashville Design and Photography.

Intimate Wedding

I always wanted a solemn wedding with not more than 100 guests compose of family and close friends. I’ve always believed that small weddings creates intimate celebration, less worry on handling guests plus the lesser budget. Since most of guests, if not all, are family or friends, we need not worry on guests who leaves without even finishing the wedding program. It is just but irritating to see tables already empty when the program is still halfway to the end.

Small, intimate weddings also relieves us from having to worry in pleasing guests as the guest themselves know that they should be pampering you both since it is indeed your BIG day. We sometimes forget these as newly wed couples. We are sometimes too much concerned on unsatisfied or bored guest that we tend to take for granted the fact that we should just be enjoying and relishing the moment. This thing happens when we have a lot of guests that we are not really close to but they are just visitors sometimes of our parents or relatives. This sometimes puts pressure on us to impress them on how beautiful the wedding is. With family and friends, you can just be you and you will never hear a word.

Ironically, my wedding was not intimate, nor solemn. We had 225 guests and handful of them who are really our friends. It was so chaotic that the whole wedding day just went on like a blur. I wish I just ignored the chaos and live the moments with ease but it was not so. I was stressed by those guests having to leave in the middle of the program. It was not what I always wanted and I wish I could turn back time and so I could insist on what I want.

Too bad, I can’t.

Wedding Program: How To Keep Guest

After the buffet line is through and everyone had already eaten the sumptous meal, one by one the guests heads to the door and leave. This is mostly the scenario at the wedding reception. Although all the guest knew that the wedding program is not yet over, boredom or maybe exhaustion drives the to finally give their well wishes and goodbyes to the newly-wed couple. The couple as much as they want the all the guests to stay until the wedding program is finish, cannot do anything but to smile and say their thank you’s. Regretting that most of the guest failed to witness their first dance, failed to see a number of surprises the couple prepared for them.

So how to let them stay?

Here are some tips that will keep all the guests throughout your wedding program:

1. Invest in a good and experienced emcee or host. We usually make the mistake of asking our relative or friends to host our weddings just because they can speak well. But speaking well enough is different from drawing crowds to listen and enjoy a party. And emcee’s who are veterans in hosting wedding parties knows more than enough on how to make the guest enjoy the program and how to keep them interested. A good emcee also can ensure smooth flow of the program without losing all the fun in the atmosphere.

2. Make the program short and interesting. Wedding traditions also can be me made short as to avoid boredom on the part of the guest. Customized wedding traditions to add fun to it. Like the usual tossing of the bouquet and garter into a trivia game or pulling of ribbons etc.

3. Mixed different genres of music to cater every age and personality of the guests. Although favorites of the couple is understandable for their first dance, entrance etc.

4. Shy away with the usual waltz first dance. A choreographed boggie or swing dance of the couple can add a more festive atmosphere into the program.

5. Onsite AVP’s or phot slideshows of the couple can be interesting to watch but keep short.

6. Make the speeches of the bestman, maid of honor and parents short. This sometimes usually eats up most of the wedding program and it never fails to bore guests. Not unless the speaker has a good sense of humor.

7. A live or acoustic band can interest guest to stay for a post party dancing.

8. If you allow children in your wedding, allot space for kids where they can do some activities like coloring, drawing or painting. This will keep them from throwing tantrums which sometimes forces the parents to leave early.

9. As much as possible, keep your guest to a minimum, inviting close relative and friends. They are the ones who usually stays until the end of the program.

10. Start the program promptly.

Although what is really important in the celebration is the couple, keeping your guest and seeing them enjoy and share with you the day is much more fulfilling. Because in any way, the wedding is prepared not only for the groom and bride but also for the ones who came to witness the union.

Wedding Style and Design Inspiration

I saw this over on 100 Great Wedding Blogs | Nashville Design and Photography. We’ve already talked about the best blogs for wedding finds, so here are the best wedding blogs for style and design.

Style & Design

These blogs are full of beautiful and fun ideas for wedding style.

13. Elizabeth Anne Designs: The girls at Elizabeth Anne have lots of design elements to share, as well as highlights of real weddings.
14. A Lucky Orchid Wedding: Lucky Orchid features everything from calligraphy to couture.
15. Style Me Pretty: Style Me Pretty offers loads of design elements, real weddings, and other stylish things they love.
16. Polka Dot Bride: This Australian wedding blog highlights wedding details that are both fun and beautiful.
17. Karen Smallbone: Karen Smallbone has loads of great ideas for wedding details.
18. The Event Essentials: On this blog, you’ll read all about design essentials to make your wedding phenomenal.
19. Wedding Chicks: Wedding Chicks is branded as “the ulimate wedding style blog,” and is a great resource for tips, advice, and connection with other stylish brides.
20. Perfect Bound: Perfect Bound obsesses with magazines, bridal style, and design.
21. Manolo for the Brides: Manolo offers fun and frank style advice on this blog.
22. Design*Sponge: Although not specifically made for weddings, Design*Sponge is an excellent resource for wedding design inspiration.
23. Glamour This!: Glamour This! has plenty of style and inspiration to go around

I also like How About Orange for whimsical designs, and Etsy Wedding has also posted some inspiring photos.

Via 100 Great Wedding Blogs | Nashville Design and Photography.

Rehearsal Dinner Invitations

A Random Wedding Planning Tip:

A bride recently asked me if it was okay to include her rehearsal dinner and RSVP in her wedding invitation. Her concern was that it’s not acceptable.

In this bride’s situation – which I happen to know is a destination wedding – it is perfectly acceptable to include a variety of wedding-related information in the invitation: welcome party, local activity info, rehearsal dinner, post-wedding brunch, etc… It’s also okay to have one RSVP card where your guests can let you know which events they will and won’t be able to attend.

I have to go with efficiency and convenience, here! Add the invite to the rehearsal dinner to the regular invitation!

Via From “I Will” to “I Do”: Random Wedding Planning Tip.

Emotional Distance can Ruin a Marriage

Couples these days are only too happy to bottle up their petty resentments, until they can’t be held in any longer and a huge fight erupts. Also, avoiding your partner can be just as big a problem. Doing things like working extra hours, vegging out in front of the TV, and spending more time doing for the kids can all create an emotional gulf in a marriage.

Here, an excerpt from a Yahoo News article on the topic:

“So the Smiths….decided to keep the peace, and avoid the touchy topics. They communicated less of their true thoughts, feelings, and dreams to each other. As they distanced themselves from each other, he filled the gap by focusing on his career and she focused on the kids. Everything seemed fine, because he was succeeding at his career and she could meet her need for affection with the children. But over the years, this pattern slowly, insidiously, became a problem. Mr. Smith’s job obviously couldn’t meet his intimacy needs, so in a moment of temptation he unwisely stumbled into an affair.”

Not to say that cheating is ever justified, of course, but both spouses are equally responsible for the success/failure of the marriage.

The “Not Legal” Wedding!

Offbeat Bride features Lith & Ealesy’s *Not Legal* Wedding. I don’t mean “not legal” like they were breaking the law, I mean that they decided not to become legally married as a personal protest against the laws that keep gay couples from getting married.

Our wedding was not a legally recognised ceremony. We had a friend facilitate the ceremony because we did not want our “marriage” recognised because our nation does not permit same sex couples to marry.

I think this is so sweet, such a perfect way to think about others less fortunate in the midst of their own celebration. Also, it’s not a meaningless ribbon-wearing kind of protest. Choosing to be domestic partners and not legally wed means extra paperwork everywhere from the hospital to the Blockbuster counter, and every one of those paperwork hassles is a chance to tell someone else why you’re not legally wed.

This is awesome in every way.

Via Offbeat Bride | Lith & Ealesy’s Formal Feminist *Not Legal* Wedding.

About The Ring

I saw this over on From “I Will” to “I Do” I HOPE no one ever has to deal with this, but she does bring up an odd point of wedding etiquette. What happens to the ring if the wedding is called off?

If you watched The Office last night then you learned that Angela bought a very expensive cat with the money she got by selling her engagement ring on eBay. The employees who learned about the sale were a little surprised that she sold the ring after Andy called off her engagement because she was having an affair with Dwight.

Here are some guidelines on what to do with an engagement ring if the wedding is called off:

1 – If it’s a bride family heirloom then the bride (her family) keep it

2 – If it’s a groom family heirloom then the groom (his family) get it back

3 – If the bride paid for it she gets to keep it and do with it what she wants

4 – If the groom bought the ring the bride should return it to him, regardless of why the wedding was called off. However, if the groom insists that the bride keep it, she can and she can do with it what she wants.

I think I like the old-fashioned version where the girl keeps it. I mean, if I’m not going to get a husband, I’d like some nice jewelry! (Or the cash version, since I imagine it would have not-so-nice memories attached to it) What would you do?

Via From “I Will” to “I Do”.

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