Wedding Invitation Tips

How far are you in your wedding planning? Have you found yourself completely caught up in this wedding “stuff” yet? If so, you are not alone. Wedding planning is so easy to get consumed by. It is one of the only times in your life when you get to plan a big party for yourself - you get to throw the celebration of your dreams! And it is so easy to get carried away trying to make the day perfect.

So why when we want the day to be perfect, do we stress out about all sorts of things that happen before the day even occurs? For example, the wedding invitations. How many of you have spent hours upon hours searching for the perfect wedding invitations? - only to find out when you found the perfect ones that they were too expensive? Well, I have a few tips for you to think about before you even go out looking.

First of all, for those of you who are still making your guest list, consider this - the less people you invite, the less your cost will be. Seems logical right? But, not only will your food and beverage costs be significantly lower, but the number of invitations needed will be smaller. This is often easier said than done, but just remember as your guest list starts to get up there that each addition can equal a significant amount of money.

Second, especially if you are having a large wedding you may want to consider choosing an invitation with postcards as the reply card. Why? Well, less paper equals less cost to you, but also a postcard can be sent (currently) for 21 cents, whereas an envelope requires a 34 cent stamp. For every 100 guests you invite that is a savings of $13.00. Okay, so that may not seem like a lot, but I am of the opinion that every little bit counts. Not to mention, the less paper in the original invitation that you send, the less the weight will be and the less the cost to send the invitations. Most wedding invitations take 2 stamps to send - if you can reduce that to one stamp, you will save another $34.00 per 100 guests invited. If you are inviting 300 guests that is a total savings of $141!

Speaking of postage, I highly recommend that you take an example of one of your invitations - with an address, stamp, and everything inside and all ready - to the post office and have them weigh it. They can tell you the exact price that it will be to send your invitations and you will not have to deal with returned invitations or even over-paying for them.
Third, if you are having a smaller wedding, I would consider making your own invitations. Ordering invitations becomes more cost-effective the more you order, so if you do not need to order a lot, you will essentially be paying more per invitation. There are many computer programs out there that will help you make your invitations, but if you know your way around a computer, you could probably do this yourself. Most office supply stores will also sell stationary kits that would be perfect for weddings. These kits often contain cards that are printer-ready and easy to fold. They will also have matching envelopes and many will even have response cards for you to print on also.

The benefit to making your invitations is that you can also make them look and say whatever you would like them to. And, you can be creative. If you are into stamping, or calligraphy, you could get pretty fancy with your invitations. You could also buy vellum (that translucent plastic-feeling paper) instead of card stock and print a very elegant and modern-looking invitation.

Last, don’t forget to put the address of your wedding website on your invitations. Instead of sending directions in the invitation, your guests can get directions from your website. And, they can find out where you are registered, how you met, who is standing up in your wedding, and they can play your quiz. Sending the address to your site in your invitations is a great way to ensure that they know about your site and can find it easily. Plus, it will bring your guests tons of enjoyment to share in your love story.
I hope that these tips will help you with the stress of picking out wedding invitations. Don’t forget that nothing is as important as your relationship and the love that you share with each other. Have fun!

Preparing Yourself for Marriage

Marriage is a major step for anyone and it is important that you feel as sure as you can that you are making the right decision.

People prepare themselves in different ways. The majority of people dates their partner, go out for sometime, get engaged and then married.

Whether you live together or not before marriage, it is important that you know why you want to marry now, and why you are choosing this person. Is this person someone who you will want to be with for the rest of your life? Is this the person who can be your spouse, friend, lover, support system and co-parent? Can you picture yourself with this person in 30/40 years time? Will you still be a team, loving and supporting each other, sharing your lives? Marriage is not for now but forever. Try therefore to think long-term. Are you making the right choice for you? Not for your parents or friends but for you. You are going to have to live with your partner for the rest of your life.

Are you prepared for the realities of marriage? Marriage is not easy and requires hard work. Right now you are on cloud nine. Nothing will ever go wrong. You are in love and that’s enough. It is a great deal but there is more you need to do to prepare yourselves for marriage so that you can make the most of your relationship so that it will continue to grow and remain as fulfilling and full of excitement as it is now.

You and your partner need to spend a lot of time talking about yourselves and discussing the following:
• Your expectations of marriage. What do you want from the relationship, from your partner and what do you expect of yourselves? Are these expectations realistic, can you and do you want to meet these expectations and needs?
• Talk about your backgrounds, your families of origin. Where did you grow up, who was in your family, or what where their attitudes and values, how have they influenced you and how are you going to relate to them now and to your in-laws?
• Talk about your friends. Are you going to have your friends, my friends and our friends? What part will friends play in your marriage?
• What about your leisure activities and hobbies? Can you each pursue your own interests? What will you have to give up? What about holidays, etc?
• What about your finances? How will you budget? Where will you live? What will you spend on your home and on yourselves?
• Have you discussed children? How many will you have and when? How will you bring them up? What about the role of the grand-parents?
• Talk about your sexual relationship. What is your attitude to sex? How much do you know? What about contraception? How do you feel about your own body and your partner’s? Good sex doesn’t just happen. We need to help it grow.
• Talk about your communication styles. Are you good at listening, at expressing your feelings, at negotiating and resolving conflict? Do you talk about your problems or push them under the carpet? How do you respond to your partner’s anger and pain? What do you need to work on together?

Preparation also involves realizing that some of your roles and responsibilities will change and you may need to give up some of your independence. You will now become a team not just ‘you’ and ‘I’ but ‘us’ and this means compromising, some give and take, some loss of independence and individuality, but you will gain a partner and support and be stronger as a team than as individuals.

Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Many couples these days are choosing to write their own vows. They want to be creative and translate the language of their heart. Lately, the traditional vows have taken a backseat in the ceremonies. Most couples are putting their personal touch into their special day, which will be a cherished memory. These vows can be framed and hung up, with your wedding pictures. Before, you choose the right words to say, try to follow these tips.

Try to say exactly what is in your heart, instead of writing what comes to mind. Try brainstorming for ideas, if you are experiencing writers block. Try to be romantic and define what your promises will be, instead of trying to poetic. Once, you have decided what to say, you can write down your thoughts and feelings. Then, stop and read them out loud in front of a mirror, so you can see if they sound right. Next, you can rearrange the words or try to add rhyming words to it.

Before, you decide to use the vows that you have written, allow a friend to read over them. Sometimes, they can help you with their suggestions or they could describe the emotion with a better word. Always, be sure to proofread your final version, before saying them to your soon to be spouse. No one wants to be embarrassed on their own wedding day, in front of their family and friends. With the right inspiration, you can create vows that will melt your fiancé’s heart.

Try reading poetry written by others or just change a few words in the traditional vows, in order to get your creative juices going. There are endless possibilities that you can create, in order to tell your spouse exactly how you feel about the commitment you are making. The memories of these personal vows will be cherished forever, by your new spouse. Plus, it doesn’t usually cost anything extra to write own vows and to recite them at your wedding.

From ‘Marry Me?’ to ‘I Do!’ - Tips for Tying the Knot

by Carol Heffernan

Planning my wedding was one of the most trying and wonderful and exhausting and fulfilling experiences of my life. From choosing a date and time to compiling the guest list to finding the dress, the details quickly became overwhelming. While my fiancé and I enjoyed the anticipation leading up to the big day, stress and worry clouded some of our pre-marital bliss.

In the end, our wedding and reception went off without a hitch, but there were definitely some things I wish I had known before organizing the biggest party of my life. Here are a few suggestions I picked up along the way that may help you through the process:

* Attend premarital counseling.First things first: Maintaining your relationship with God and each other during this busy time is a must. An experienced pastor or Christian counselor can guide you through the issues critical to every successful marriage.
* Stay organized.As fun as it is to buy stacks of wedding books and magazines, there is plenty of help (for free) at the library and online. Here’s one example of a detailed wedding checklist: Ultimate Wedding Timetable.
* Establish a budget — and stick to it.Decide who’s paying for what before you go on a spending spree. It’s a sticky subject, but an important one: Whoever foots the bill ultimately has the final say on how much is spent. If you want complete control over your wedding, it may be best to pay for it on your own.
* Be firm on major details and flexible on minor ones.Sure, a compromise here and there is necessary, but you’re never going to please everyone. Months after the fact, my parents and I still disagree on the reception time. And how many appetizers to order. And the size of the wedding cake. While it’s unlikely you’ll see eye-to-eye on everything, it is possible to make decisions everyone can live with.
* Let others help.Loosen your grip on every little detail and allow others to give you a hand. Not only will this free up time, but some friends and family members will appreciate the opportunity to get involved.
* Put down the bridal magazines (and pick up your Bible).I made the mistake of buying a stack of glossies, which made me acutely aware of my limited budget and unrealistic standards. Sure, it’s fun to pour over the flawless images and extravagant receptions, but at what price? Not everyone can afford to spend $9,000 on a dress and twice that on flowers. Do yourself a favor by keeping your Bible handy and your focus on God — not image.
* Remember those thank-you notes.If possible, write cards as gifts arrive. This will save you time — and grief — after the wedding. Also, don’t forget to take note of each package’s contents. That way, you won’t thank Aunt Marian for a vase when she gave you a set of sheets.
* Take care of yourself.It’s easy to obsess over appearance, especially when you’re the center of attention. When it comes to our bodies, upping the activity ante and cutting down on calories is a good thing. But sacrificing emotional well being to shed a few pounds isn’t worth it. After only a week on the Atkins diet, I was three pounds thinner and 10 times crabbier than when I started. We all want to look our best on the big day, but our fiancé, friends and families love us the way we are — imperfections and all. Looking for a godly identity check? Pick up a copy of Nancy Stafford’s Beauty by the Book.
* Relax and enjoy this special time together.A significant question (”Will you marry me?”), a simple answer (”I do!”), and a couple of vows later — bang — life is forever changed. Enjoy the journey.

Preparing for Marriage

Marriage is one of the most important decisions that you will make in life. It has a high rate of failure and without proper preparation it can lead to a path of unhappiness and resentment in many cases.

So many couples spend more time on the Wedding rather than on the marriage itself. Marriage which is intended to last a lifetime gets the short end of the stick as far as preparation and attention overall. A happy marriage does not just happen; it takes work and effort along with a lot of attention to detail. Couples can reduce their chances of divorce and increase their happiness within a relationship with preparation and insight into the reality of marriage and what that really means.

Happy couples tend to have the following strengths as a couple:

1. Common Morals, Principles, and Values
2. Realistic Expectations about the challenges of marriage
3. Communication where they share both positive and negative feelings.
4. Conflict Resolution where they can work through problems without demeaning or name calling.
5. Personality where they really like the other person and consider them their best friend overall.

Talk about the difficult subjects before marriage. Money and conflict over money is in the top 3 cause of divorce today.

Meaning of flowers at your wedding

If you are one of the brides who prefer to decorate their wedding with possessing articles that true meaning, this article is definitely for you. Regardless of whether a particular flower is more beautiful than another, one of the variables that you can also take into account when choosing what flowers will use both for your bouquet, as arrangements for the Church and arrangements of flowers for your shower or reception, the significance is the fact that each flower contains, knowing this will give much more content and much more meaning to your decor.
Here are some meanings of the most famous flowers:

Yellow alhelí (faithfulness in adversity) alhelí incarnate (lasting beauty) Amaryllis (coquetry or beauty splendid) Anturios (sexuality burning) The azalea (romance) Pink azalea (love) Lily (innocence, purity) White camellia (perfect beauty) Carnation (distinction and nobility) Red carnation (falling in love, pure love and live) Chrysanthemum white (truth) Chrysanthemum red (love) Yellow dahlia (reciprocal union) Ear of wheat (wealth) Fleur-de-lis (beauty) Sunflower (joy child) Hydrangea (cold) Lilac (first love) Gardenia (joy)

Other meanings:

Flower vanilla (calm) Leaves cinnamon (good choice) Blue iris (pleasant news) Jasmine (sensuality) Yellow lily (unique beauty) Lily-white (purity) Mauve real (fertility) Daisy (purity, innocence) Mimosa (youthful joy, sensibility) Nard (dangerous pleasures) Orange (seduction) Orchid (I put my love and my goods at your disposal, lust) Red rose (I love you, love, passion) Yellow rose closed (joy, gratitude, “think of my” friendship) Pink white (innocence, purity) Rose pink (spirituality) Fuchsia pink (I like) Red tulip (subtle declaration of love) Yellow tulip (simboliza, desperate, love) etc…

There are also different meanings depending on the colors of the flowers and white flowers will reflect the stability, peace and innocence, pink mean tenderness, kindness and noble sentiments, the yellow mean laughter or pleasure, orange signify joy and festive atmosphere.

The red expresses love, love and romance, the blue reflects loyalty, trust and harmony and green signify youth and balance. Keep in mind that you can combine different types of flowers and make your own arrangement or decoration with the meanings that you want for your wedding.

Good luck!

Wedding Gown Fabric and Decorations

In order to make your wedding gown truly yours on your wedding day you might want to have a wedding gown custom made for you. This gives you the option of choosing your own fabrics and having a say in the detail such as bead work, netting and ribbons. With so many different materials and shiny little things to choose from, it is really easy to lose track of what goes where, and end up with something that people need to wear sunglasses to look at.
There are also factors like the time of year and the weather conditions. No one wants to trudge down the aisle in the middle of a heat wave swathed from head to toe in chiffon and crepe.

Cost, unfortunately is usually an issue. You might love the softness and feel of a material, but if it is made from the hair shed by andalusian mountain goats once every 10 years and costs thousands of dollars per square inch it might not be feasible. If cost is really an issue then you might consider buying a relatively simple type of dress and smarting it up with some custom decorations such as bead work and other decorations. Adding details to the dress is therefore very pocket friendly, it allows you to buy a much plainer dress for less and then customize it to your liking, making it spectacular!

Decorations can be a lot of fun. Have a look at the decorations and bead work on pictures in expensive wedding magazines - these are a greate source of inspiration! If you are having the dress made from scratch ask your dressmaker if she can match the decorations and bead work on some of the pictures that you really like. If she really knows what she is doing, she should be able to give you something similar.

There are so many different ways of making your wedding gown beautiful but bead work remains a perennial favourite; a bead work design on the bodice of the dress is both elegant and contemporary. The other advantage of bead work is that it does not take too long to put in, so if you change your mind, your tailor can always take it out again with very little effort.

All in all, finding the right decoration for your dress can be a lot of fun. Take your friends along and make a day of it. Do not be afraid to ask questions of the shop assistants, that is what they are there for, besides, everyone wants to help with a wedding. This is your opportunity to really express yourself through your dress and we recommend that you take full advantage of it.

How to Survive a Divorce

With so many marriages ending up in divorce (around 50% in America) there has become an ever increasing need for help in surviving the ordeal of a divorce.
The first thing to you need to do is make doubly sure that there is no way you can save your marriage and that divorce is the only option. If you can be sure that you are not making a mistake in getting divorced the easier it can be to come to terms with the separation.

Once you have made your decision you need to start mentally preparing yourself for the life beyond divorce.

Once you have reached this point and you have filed for divorce there is no point looking back, what has happened is in the past and you now need to look to what needs to be done to make the separation easier and start planning for the future.

Don’t go blaming yourself and don’t start thinking of yourself as a failure. Divorce happens and so you and your partner haven’t got the marriage idea quite right but you now need to learn from any mistakes, let go and move on.

I know it’s easy for me to say and the concept of divorce is probably a crushing blow but you can and you will survive this. You know your marriage and you know it can’t be saved and that you are seeking divorce with good reason. It makes sense to move on.

You need to try and let go before the end, begin to start making a new life (at least in your mind) before that final bit of paper comes through the door.

Divorce is a whole lot easier if the whole process is amicable. The more fighting and arguing that occurs over custody and finances the more stressful divorce can be. Divorce is hard enough you just don’t need or want any added animosity. The harder the divorce the slower the recovery process will be.

Divorced spouse can often be filled with feelings of hatred, anger and self-loathing. Stress levels run high and it just seems impossible to get past the frustration and the continual memories of the failed marriage but divorce has to mean ‘the end’. To survive divorce and get on with your life you need to visualize and understand the line drawn under your marriage. You might not like it but you have to accept it.

Don’t ever think that because one marriage is failed you won’t enjoy a loving relationship again. You need to re-build your self-esteem, accept that many marriages fail and that your divorce doesn’t mean you are a failure.

Try and start rebuilding your life and doing something you enjoy every day. Make sure you have time out from going over and over your marriage. Deliberately make extra time for things you enjoy and try and keep your mind occupied for as much of the day as possible.

Obviously evenings are harder and this is when you need to start rebuilding your social life. Don’t lock yourself away, get out there, do thinks you enjoy, meet new people and start learning that there is a whole new life waiting for you. See divorce as the beginning and not the end!

If you have children don’t use them to get at your ex-spouse. Children suffer enough after a divorce and you need to make it as easy as possible for them. It’s also easier for you if you can learn to let go of the anger.

If you believe you can do it then you can do it. Don’t let divorce ruin your life, it’s your decision to go down with the sinking ship or get back out there and start swimming. You can do whatever you want, you can make it happen. There are a whole load of new opportunities out there just waiting for you to grab them. It’s a bit like riding a horse or a bicycle, if you fall off you have to get back on if you don’t you’ll loose your nerve.

some wedding beliefs & superstitions

1) Remember the old saying… “Something old something new, something borrowed, something blue”
2) On the wedding day, it is bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the ceremony.
3) It is bad luck if the bride’s car does not start the first time or has car trouble on the way to the ceremony.
4) It is a good omen if the bride or groom sees a cat on the way to the wedding.
5) MAY is an unlucky month for marriage…. this coming from ancient Rome when May was the month for making offerings to the dead.

Beach Weddings in South Africa

You and the love of your life are starting to plan your wedding, the one day that both of you will cherish for the rest of your life. Some of you might want something exotic; others dream of their wedding to embody sophisticated elegance. Whatever you desire, a beach wedding in Cape Town will be everything you’ve always dreamt of.
The Cape Town Coastline
White sandy beaches, perfect weather conditions and a sunset that fills the skies with the most beautiful colours ever imagined, best describes the picture perfect beaches of the Cape. The Cape Town coastline could act as the perfect location to set up the event of the year, with endless options for that ideal romantic wedding.

A number of the prime locations are able to host both the ceremony and reception, treating your loved ones to a romantic day on the beach, for all to enjoy and remember forever. Fear not, however, as most of the beaches where weddings are allowed are in close proximity to exceptional venues, and a drive to the reception is not far off.

The West Coast, with its almost desert like landscape, peace and quiet and magnificent sunsets boasts a fantastic venue like Die Strandkombuis (”The beach kitchen”) where you can lay into seafood platters prepared on the open fire. Boulders Beach close to Camps Bay offers a secluded hide away between enormous granite rocks and Cape Town’s city centre a short drive away, whilst Kommetjie and St. James caters for those with a penchant towards small fisherman’s villages with boutique guesthouses. For something a little further away consider Hermanus and Vermont for stretches of rugged coastline and mountain slopes covered with indigenous fynbos.

Things to Take into Consideration
Before you start making any arrangements, you will first need to take a few things into consideration:

Permit
You will require a permit from the Cape Town City Council in order to marry on a public beach. It takes about one week for a permit to be issued. If you have chosen to use the professional services of a wedding co-ordinator, they should be obliged to arrange the permit on your behalf. Depending on the beach, group size and the complexity of the function, the costs involved for the permit can range from R 300.00 up to R 6,000.00. The permit however does not guarantee exclusive use of the public beach, which means that your wedding service is open to any passers-by.

For intimate ceremonies which would only include the couple and two witnesses, without extensive décor and infrastructure, it would be able to conduct a ceremony without the requirement of a permit.

Legalities
With regards to the legalities of marrying outdoors, the register will have to be signed indoors in order to legalize your union. The marriage officer usually requests that the register be signed in a separate venue, therefore it would be advisable to have the ceremony on the beach and to move your reception to a venue nearby.

Also have to bear in mind that the drinking of alcohol is strictly prohibited on public beaches. This new legislation is being re-enforced by conservationists patrolling the beaches to ensure compliance with the “no alcohol” regulation. Some beaches even forbid the use of glass on the beach. Your coordinator will be able to guide you through your options in this regard.

Timing
The best months for a beach wedding is during the summer months, ranging from October to May. It is advised though to have a Plan B in place, just in case the weather decides to bless your ceremony with some rain or strong winds.

The tides will also play a role in the timing of your wedding day. Ensure that you are aware of the high tide on the day!

Budget
Logistically a beach ceremony and reception tends to demand a bigger budget. This would include things such as chairs; a gazebo; a marquee set-up for shade; the need for running water; and obtaining power for the music and your PA system in the form of a generator; lighting; and possible catering, etc.

Alternative options
If you would like to get married with the same beach feeling without actually being on the beach, you might consider a sea-view restaurant, a private beach house or an ocean front hotel to play host to your wedding.
With all of this in mind, a beach wedding enables you to have a wedding like no other. As you and your loved one begin your new life together, you and all your guests can celebrate this festive occasion to the rhythm of the ocean with the African sunset as your background.

With the assistance of a Cape Town wedding co-ordinator to manage all the planning for you, you are at an advantage of being assured of selecting the best beach location and reception venue for your day.

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