Scottish Wedding Customs: Part 1, Engagement

Scottish weddings have many lovely traditions that a modern bride might incorporate into her own wedding today.

To begin with, the traditional Scottish bride would first have an engagement party, with all her family and all of her intended’s family.  At the réiteach or formal betrothal party, it was often said by the bride-to-be’s father :

“Ma tha ise deònach, tha mise ro-dheònach, agus mura bi sin mar sin, cha bhi seo mar seo” which means “If she is willing, I am very willing and if that weren’t so, then this wouldn’t be so” (from Margaret Fay Shaw in her book Folksongs and Folklore of South Uist)

After the betrothal, the banns would be called three Sundays in sucession. This means that the names of the intended couple andtheir intention to marry would be read in both the bride’s and the groom’s home parish. Kind of a three-week-long “If any one knows why this man and this woman should not be joined in marriage, speak now or forever hold his peace”.  The wedding would be on the Tuesday after the last reading. 

Although ”reading the banns” is no longer required, it’s commonly used as a synonym for engagement. For example, “We went on two dates, Mam, we’re hardly reading the banns,”

After the formal engagement,  it’s time for the bride to start working on her dress. No white for a Scots bride, though. Blue is popular, althought there is no fixed color. An old-fashioned Scottish bride would make or order a beautiful gown, but with an eye to wearing it again.

 And the families would begin preparing the food for the wedding day. Margaret Fay Shaw goes on to say: 

 The greatest chore for a wedding was the plucking and cooking of innumerable hens presented for the party by friends of the bride and bridegroom from all over the island. A delegation was formed just to deal with this part of the feast which consisted of cold chicken, roast mutton, scones and bannocks, fresh and salt butter, new cheese and many another special delicacy of the island, with the ever-present tea, and whisky and port wine for the toasts. (I’m getting hungry) Chickens were considered such an essential part of these feasts that when an epidemic killed a lot of hens on the island, Seonaidh Caimbeul, the local bard, made a song about it in which he refers to the grief of prospective brides at the impossibility of making proper wedding feasts without them.