Inviting Co-workers At Your Wedding… Or Not

If, like me, you’re working in a tiny office where everyone tends to know everyone, this may be something of a problem you’ll be faced with when it’s time to decide on who to invite.

So, one thing I’d like to state right from the start is that: there is nothing wrong with not inviting work colleagues at your wedding. No matter how much some like to say “we’re a tiny family”, or other similar guilt-trip inducing sentences. As a rule of thumb, if you do not socialize with your co-workers outside of the office, there is also no reason why, out of the blue, they should be on your guests list. Any kind of bruised susceptibilities after that will be just that, and not you committing and awful etiquette mistake. (Personally, I tend to keep work and private life clearly separated–not because I don’t like my colleagues, but simply because it is the way I am, the way my personality is set. I am quite confident that lots of people do that as well.)

Maybe your office will throw a bridal shower for you, though, or offer gifts all the same. What about that? Well, again, there is still nothing wrong with not inviting them in turn, especially if the shower is something completely independent from your own will (of course, if you demand they organize one for you, then the matter is different, but demanding is in bad taste anyway, isn’t it?).

The only really tricky part, in my opinion and from experience witnessed at friends’ weddings, is if you invite a couple of people from your office because you are close to them, and don’t want to invite the others. Diplomacy is key here, but one thing you can always say, and that will always provide a clean escape, is that you are on a tight budget, have to be very careful of the head count, and that you unfortunately had to choose. Still, this might hurt feelings; however, you really cannot invite the whole world, can you? People should and normally do understand that, and if some don’t, then the problem lies with them, not with you. It is your day: stay diplomatic, but firm, and promise to share the pictures as soon as possible to show that you appreciate all the well-wishes and are not keeping anyone out of your thoughts.