How to Write a Thank You Note

Since I’ve blogged here about tracking your thank you cards in order to avoid accidentally forgetting anyone–and after Lynn’s post about the matter on this very blog (she offers pretty good ideas, I think)– I figured out that maybe I could add a word about proper etiquette, if I may say so, when it comes to actually writing your cards.

• A personal ‘thank you’ note is pretty much the only way to go here (no, an e-mail won’t cut it). Pre-printed cards are a definite no-no: believe me, it’s easy to recognize one of those, and people never really appreciate, even if they pretend they did, to receive the very same thing that has evidently be sent to fifty other people. You have to make every guest feel special, feel like their gift has truly touched you (I hope it is the case). A personalized note, even a brief one, will always be better than some flowery text, poem or quote, if the latter is just another cookie-cutter filler. Also, the note should be hand-written, not typed: it tends to express sincerity in a much better way.
• Another thing to keep in mind: pay extra attention to friends and family who have helped you organize, threw a shower party for you, etc. They’ve gone out of their way, and they’ll be pleased if you ‘officially’ thank them for that as well as for their gifts.
• Regarding the gifts, it is common etiquette to send one card per gift received if those have not been offered at the same time–for instance, a shower gift, then a gift at the wedding party itself. And, by all means, don’t send ‘group cards’ thanking everyone at once in cases where members of a same family unit have brought a gift each. Thank every person individually, no matter the roof under which s/he lives.
• An evident thing, but one that one might overlook, in their wish to write something really personalized: your cards must remain readable! Please avoid using yellow ink or anything too fancy. Black or blue will do very well.
• When it comes to writing style, make sure that it is appropriate depending on the people. You will not thank your grandmother the same way you’ll thank that friend of your mother who you don’t know too well, but has sent a gift no matter what.
• Finally, as a matter of politeness (this is a common rule in many types of letter writing, after all), don’t start your cards with ‘I’.

As a side note, these little ‘rules’ are also worth being followed for other types of cards, so I believe it can really be useful to keep them in mind.